Creativity needed

This valentine's day I want to do something extra special for my husband... I'm just not so sure WHAT that will be. I have never been 'creative' in the way of persuing my husband but I know, from previous comments and from reading other wives comments, that is WHAT HE WANTS. So what else would be a better gift for him, right? 

All week long I've been praying for strength to be sexy and have confidence. I've asked God to give me an idea and play it out. Fingers crossed that a) I don't back out or b) nothing else comes up.

I didn't ever think that I would be afriad to be creative or to share my thoughts with my husband, but oh how the devil has kept me in bondage over this issue. Thankfully, I know that I can over come this and learn how to satisfy and persue Matt. Like Courtney says, "loosen up and have fun... Remember, you are married (so) have FUN!"

Fingers crossed that I can let me creativity come out and not be afraid to persue my man.

More of James, Less of Bee

More of James and less of me... that is my prayer as I continue to read though his book. Oh Lord, please give me an understanding of your word so that I may be able to live it out in my life. 

James 1:7-8: Double minded and unstable... those two words hit me like a freight train. I do sometimes doubt God, probably because I want to have control and He doesn't work fast enough for me. After reading today's verses  that means I shouldn't expect anything from him. (YIKES!) I have an excellent relationship with my dad and have absolutely no problems asking him for help. He's so wonderful I can't even begin to describe it. My dad has always, always been there for me even when I didn't know I needed him. So, why can't I remember that as great as my earthly father is, my heavenly father blows him out of the water. That is my prayer today; trust / obey / NOT doubt my heavenly father as much as I do my earthly father.

James 1:9-11: I was a little confused so I had to read the study notes in my bible. Then things made more sense. "Trials: the Christian who suffers the trial of poverty is to take pride in his high positions as a believer, and the wealthy Christian is to take pride in trials that bring him low, perhaps including the loss of his wealth." I am so thankful for this because it helped me understand better and put things into action. We currently live in my husbands grandfather's house (it was sitting empty before we got married) now while we pay off Matt's law school debt and save up for our first home. Sometimes it's so hard because all I want to do is 'build our nest' and there just isn't that opportunity right now. It's not our house to paint or decorate or make any sort of changes. For a girl who 'wants to paint the world red' this can be an I-S-S-U-E! When I get an itch and want to find our own house, Matt reminds me of the reason why we are where we are and pulls me back down.  Trails... persevere... Oh Lord help me stay on course!!

James 1:12:  Isn't it amazing how one verse can say so much about God's love for us?!?!  "Perseverance will result in blessings, including the crown of life."  Thank you Lord Jesus.  It is still amazing to me that as sinners, we are able to be loved, adored by God and receive His blessings.  Why wouldn't you love a father like that :c)

James 1:13-14: The thing that stuck out the most is that when we are pulled away from God, due to our own desires, we will face temptations. And, those temptations are never from them Lord. I think that in my heart I really know this, but sometimes my head wants to ask God "WHY!?!?" In those moments, I should turn to God and ask for "HELP" instead. Oh, sin is so gross and the devil is very sneaky.

Today is also a day that I am joining Courtney at women living well and praising my hubs.

One thing that I totally love about him is his drive. He knew at the age of 8 that God had meant for him to an attorney. *I'm 30 and still don't know what I'm meant 'to be'* When he first graduated from Law School, he took a job clerking for the county. Then, when he passed the bar and was sworn in he took the first job that came along. It gave him the experience he needed but it just wasn't what God had planned for his career. In December of '09, he left the firm he was at and started his own practice. B-I-N-G-O!! God meant for him to be his own boss, travel NW Ohio, and ministry to the criminals and down hearted. He is a-mazing at his job and the best attorney in the 419. I love his drive, perseverance, and heart for the Lord.

Journey thru James

I have read about GMG in the past, but never more than that.  Well this year, among other things, I have decided to "stop just thinking about and act."  That's why I have joined a group and found my accountability partner. 

We are reading James alongside other GMG groups.  So far, here is my journey:
James 1:1,2: At first I thought "what the heck am I going to get out of just two verses" but I was pleasantly surprised when I read the intro and the verses. The first thing that he does after introducing himself is to say "consider it joy when you face trials." WOW!  Can you imagine meeting him!?!? "Hi, my name is James and I want to tell you that you should consider it joy when you're having a bad day." I like that he opens with this because it says to me "rearrange your thoughts and find joy in everything, especially the trials."  Align your thinking with T-H-A-T! 

James 1:3,4: (I am writing the verses out in a binder and am finding that it sinks in more.) "Testing of your faith produces perseverance... so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." If only I could get over myself enough to let God do His work in my life, then I won't lack a thing. Pretty bold words that I want to resignate all day long. Consider it joy when you face trials. You will persevere and lack nothing. Last night in our marriage small group, we talked about 'getting over arguments quickly so as to enjoy each other's company once again.' Reading this mornings verses just reaffirmed this idea... you will face trials, but persevere as tomorrow will supply you with all you need!

James 1: 5,6: Today's verses really struck a cord with me. When Matt and I first were married, it was a struggle. We are very strong willed and both had high expectations. Oh how the devil loved to see us fight! At the end of 2009 I was ready to walk away because I just didn't see an end to the hostility and frustrations. My friend gave me The Power of a Praying Wife, asked me to read it for 30 days and then make my decision. It was life changing! Our marriage is happy, loving, exciting, filled with friendship, blissful, etc. because I asked God to give me the wisdom. I had no idea how to be a wife, but with his help I am gaining the wisdom now to be the best partner I can be for Matt.  Along the same lines, I am in a job that I just do not fit into. It doesn't make me happy; I don't feel that I'm particularly great at it; it causes me stress and anxiety (which can seap into other ares of my life)... you get the picture. Reading todays' verse reminded me that if I can ask and trust God with something as huge as changing my marriage then why can't I ask him for help with my job/career?


Just a little bit more about me, my walk with God, and my life as a wife :)

I'm not so sure that most folks will read this, but please click on the link below.  It'll take you to Lysa TerKeurst's website and tell you a story about Dax. Then, please consider making a dontation in his honor.

Thanks!

Lysa Terkeurst

But God...

But God... that is the only way that I can start this post. I had a great rant and rave type of post started to "get me back in the swing of things" but God had another plan for this "welcome back" post.

Let me say though, that I have been dreading this week for the past few months and eventually my negative attitude seeped out all over my husband, my friends, and my co-workers. Oh, how awful I've truly been!

It wasn't until yesterday evening that realized I haven't been spending as much time with the Lord as I should be, and to be honest, I knew that was the root of my problem. It's been an "all about me" show lately and I've been thick in it. "Why can't I..." or "Why do I have to..." and even "There is no way that I'm going to..." thoughts were all over in my mind, along with that hot Italian temper. Oh Girl, watch out! You name it, I've negatively thought it this week.

But then I met Kimmy and Tara for coffee last night and enjoyed their comfort & conversations. I got back in the swing of reading my daily P31 devotionals with my cup o' joe at the computer allowed them to sink in before started my work day. I went to Lysa's blog and read though her words of encouragement and then I read Courney's blog and got excited about the December challenge. Then I stopped over to... well, you get the idea. I started to surround myself with Godly women (even if it was mostly virtual) and don't you know that my God intervened. He knows that's that I don't want to dwell on my sin or stay weak. He knows that if I live there, deciding to stay grumpy or mad or feeling self-righteous I'll just miserable. He knows that I need him, I can't do this on my own. I must listen and obey Him. Fear Him more than I do man. Read his word, dwell on His loving kindness and mercies. And, this week definitely, I need to remember to extend that grace to those around me.

So today, with God's help, my goal for the rest of the year is to:
First, seek Him and his righteousness.
Second, spend time in His word, with Him, and listen.
Third, O-B-E-Y!
Fourth, not beat myself up if I fail one day before 2011.

There is this song, I unfortunately don't know who sings it, but I hear it on KLove and it always convicts me. One part of the lyrics says something about "never giving until it hurts" or something like that. Always gets me. Do I give to God until it hurts me? Do I give to others? Or, do I always just expect that I'm due this type of giving?

But God stepped in and turned my day around.

mustard

My husband is a HUGE fan of mustard. I think that we have at least 5 different varieties in our fridge, not to mention the ones that are 'in reserve' in the cupboards. He will talk your ear off about 'the most underrated condiment.' Oh, how that makes me smile!

Today, as I was reading through chapter 29 of The Power of a Praying Wife, God lead me to Matthew 17:20. Do you know it? I know of it, but haven't committed it to memory. So when I reread about having faith as tiny as a mustard seed not only was I immediately reminded of my mustard loving husband (instant smile), but I was hit with the realization that his love of mustard is a God tugging at me. Do you know how small a mustard seed is? 1 - 2 mm... that's it! I had to google pictures so that I could a visual. God says in Matthew 17:20 that if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will be able to move a mountain and nothing will be impossible. Did you catch that? Faith as tiny as 1 - 2 mm and you can move mountains!! Oh, not to mention that not one thing will be impossible.

You see, my husband Matthew's love of that tiny little seed is a reminder to me first of all to laugh, because he's just so goofy, and secondly with tiniest amount of faith in God nothing is impossible!

Fall Challenge

It's time for another challenge from Courtney over at Women Living Well and I'm so excited to start! She's been a great influence in my life this past year, encouraging me through her words and actions, living her life for Jesus. I can't wait to experience her practical tips on how to make our homes warm and inviting to our families. I hope that you'll join me, and that I'll be able to blog weekly, though this fall challenge!

Here's the topic schedule for those who want to link up each week:

October 4 - Go buy an extra large candle and light a candle everyday in your home.

October 10 - Play soft music everyday in your home.

October 17 - List a few of the spots in your home that make you visually stressed because of all the clutter.

October 24 - Keep the candle going, the music playing, and add some tender moments with your family.

October 31 - Focus on the kitchen, the heart of the home.