But God... that is the only way that I can start this post. I had a great rant and rave type of post started to "get me back in the swing of things" but God had another plan for this "welcome back" post.
Let me say though, that I have been dreading this week for the past few months and eventually my negative attitude seeped out all over my husband, my friends, and my co-workers. Oh, how awful I've truly been!
It wasn't until yesterday evening that realized I haven't been spending as much time with the Lord as I should be, and to be honest, I knew that was the root of my problem. It's been an "all about me" show lately and I've been thick in it. "Why can't I..." or "Why do I have to..." and even "There is no way that I'm going to..." thoughts were all over in my mind, along with that hot Italian temper. Oh Girl, watch out! You name it, I've negatively thought it this week.
But then I met Kimmy and Tara for coffee last night and enjoyed their comfort & conversations. I got back in the swing of reading my daily P31 devotionals with my cup o' joe at the computer allowed them to sink in before started my work day. I went to Lysa's blog and read though her words of encouragement and then I read Courney's blog and got excited about the December challenge. Then I stopped over to... well, you get the idea. I started to surround myself with Godly women (even if it was mostly virtual) and don't you know that my God intervened. He knows that's that I don't want to dwell on my sin or stay weak. He knows that if I live there, deciding to stay grumpy or mad or feeling self-righteous I'll just miserable. He knows that I need him, I can't do this on my own. I must listen and obey Him. Fear Him more than I do man. Read his word, dwell on His loving kindness and mercies. And, this week definitely, I need to remember to extend that grace to those around me.
So today, with God's help, my goal for the rest of the year is to:
First, seek Him and his righteousness.
Second, spend time in His word, with Him, and listen.
Fourth, not beat myself up if I fail one day before 2011.
There is this song, I unfortunately don't know who sings it, but I hear it on KLove and it always convicts me. One part of the lyrics says something about "never giving until it hurts" or something like that. Always gets me. Do I give to God until it hurts me? Do I give to others? Or, do I always just expect that I'm due this type of giving?
But God stepped in and turned my day around.