Spend Wisely

My dad and I have a lot in common. We are both quite tall and awkward at times. We love every type of sport and enjoy watching or participating in them. We’re competitive and loyal, considerate and giving. We think the same. We act the same. We even get sick, mostly with sinus infections, the same time (and we live 3 hours away). We are also both in charge of our family’s finances. That last similarity is uber S-C-A-R-Y to me. I, the girl who screwed up so much in college you’d swear the character Becky Bloomwood was based on me, am now in charge of money for my family. Goodness Gracious Lord Almighty!?!?

It hasn’t been an easy road: I’ve made budgets then tossed them out the window as I’m driving to the mall.  I’ve built up our savings just to deplete it twice as fast. I’ve stumbled. I’ve crashed and oh, how I’ve burned.

A few weeks ago, as I was starting the “savings build up” again anticipating the depletion, something sort of clicked. I felt a “one day at a time” attitude, cheering me on, giving me hope. I’ve always had the best of intentions, but let’s face it. That’s about as far as I’ve ever gotten.

So, in an act of sheer obedience (trust me when I say I did not want to do it), I asked one of my girlfriends to pray for our finances. Nothing outlandish like having X amount by such and such a date, but just plain and simple prayer for our household finances. Let me be honest about the obedience thing, I do not want to admit to others that I am the spender in my family, regardless of how "funny" it is. And I would never tell how much I have not saved up. However, the past few weeks (okay, months) I've felt a nudge to ask my friends for prayer. Finally, I swallowed my pride and did it.

I'd love to say "and they lived happily ever after" but that's a make believe ending. This is just the beginning.

Monday, our small group leaders asked us to write out 4 goals for 2012 and "control of finances / spending / writing out and STICKING to a budget" is one of mine. I've read other bloggers challenge themselves to "spending fasts" and think it is a great idea. We hardly eat out during the week so I should be curbing the extra grocery shopping, sticking to the meal plan, and stop grabbing that cup o’joe because I need to get out of the office. My Financial goal for 2012 is to have $5,000 in the savings by years end and stick to a bi-weekly budget.

Today, I bought the last two Christmas gifts on my list and stopped at Kroger for ingredients to make baked ziti. Please note that bought rigatoni noodles instead; I need to SLOW DOWN! In all, just under $100 (those gifts were expensive!). Hopefully tomorrow will be a big goose egg!

He's last minute; I'm year in advance

I LOVE CALENDARS!! Big ones, colorful ones, ones that go on the desk, hang on the fridge / wall, and ones that fit in my purse. I will definitely take a free one from the meat market and enjoy the ones Grandpa Koch gives to me. I have a Franklin Covey at work, I have an everyday one that I made on Snapfish, and 'we' have one that hangs on fridge. Last night, I even told Matt that it was a good idea for him to share his work calendar with me. Okay, I'll honest. I may actually have a calendar hording problem. BUT, I love calendars because they help me plan, remind me of important events, and provide us with opportunities for "free time."

Matt, on the other hand, is not a planner nor does he share my love of calendars. He's last minute and I'm year in advance. When we were first married, you can imagine he was overwhelmed by my great love of planning. "What is that pad of paper hanging on the fridge? Why do you keep printing out weekly schedules? And, can you please explain why you keep asking me what I want for dinner next week during Tuesday breakfast?"  Ha, oh it makes me laugh out loud thinking of this!

One great thing about "learning how to be married" is through bumps and bruises, we have met in the middle on lots of things, this 'planning issue' included. I've committed to speaking to him before putting something on the social calendar. He helps with the grocery list Saturday morning before our trip to the store. And, last night during my "you need to share" plea (maybe it was a whine), we agreed that Mon-Thurs is hectic enough without trying to add Friend Dinner Dates; those can be resevered for the weekend and written in my planner.

I do write down the meal plan and stick that on the fridge, but don't get bent out of shape if we end of up having Monday's dinner on Wednesday.

Here is this weeks Menu Plan: (yes, I'm aware it's Thursday, but I'll still share)

Monday: dinner with small group (sloppy joes... YUCK!)
Tuesday: mustard pork chops (Bon Appetite)
Wednesday: Cheesy Sour Cream chicken (SUPER easy and Matt actually likes it!)
Thursday: steaks, mashed potatoes, and green onions
Friday: dinner with friends
Saturday: wedding reception
And, here are my goals for this week with updates from the last list:
1. organize decorations to get ready for fall *the house looks great!
2. purchase pattern and start my Abby Tote *it is my new favorite bag!!
3. Find WGW leaders for January event
4. Find next book to read. Any suggestions?
6. Lunch with Helene & Mary to start our new bible study
7. Talk to Judy about quiting Lily's *this one is going to be tough, but it's definitely the right decision. I'm getting more involved with WGW and know that is where God wants me.


Oh, I know that this is already a LOOOOOOOOOOONG post, but just an update on exercising / working out. Amanda and I have found some awesome new work outs, that we're loving, on pinterest. Plus, we're still doing the Ripped in 30 with Jillian. I think I'm in the best shape of my life and loving it! I'm working on not getting bent out of shape when my body changes because of kids; that might take a lot of coaching.

Mined for gold

"Men are developed the same way gold is mined. When mining for gold several tons of dirt must be moved to get one ounce. But one doesn't go into the mine looking for dirt - one goes in looking for GOLD. And, the more he looks for, the more he finds." -Andrew Carnegie

I remember the day I first read this quote; however I don't remember exactly where I saw it. It was one of those “Oh, he (aka – the hubs) so needs to hear this. It explains EVERYTHING!” I wrote it out and posted it on my cube wall for those days I needed to be reminded that living with my man is-a-process.

Little did I know what God would do to me as I was attempting to mined my husband.

As I’ve told you all before, I read The Power of a Praying Wife almost every day. At first, it was tough to swallow my pride and pray for a man who had just made my blood boil. It was difficult to pray without adding “change him Father” thoughts at the end. I shrugged off my need to be cleaned because I was singing and praising God at church, I was in a woman’s bible study, I was reading and applying every marriage book known to woman, I was the positive, loving one, I was… (you get the picture). Sure, I’ll listen to Stormie Omartian and I’d pray for my husband just so God could do wonders in his life. Then, he’d see just how great he had it!

As I prayed for my husband, read more marriage books and found more Christian blogs, I noticed that God’s word became wall paper in my cube and in my heart. The pictures of family and friends became less important as I would look to God’s word for smiles, comfort, love, and safety.

As I prayed for my man’s mind, fears, and attitude to be changed by God my mind, fears, and attitude seemed to change. As I dug further into the dirt, I found little specs of gold in me I never knew existed. God began show me more beauty in my life, stronger faith that would move mountains, grace, forgiveness, righteousness and strength, and most importantly LOVE in a damaged heart.

What started out as an “I’ll show him how great of a prayer warrior I can be” attitude with a little, okay big chip on my shoulder, turned into an amazing love for and friendship with a man I now admire and look to for leadership.

I am so thankful God decided to show the gold in my life as I vengefully dug through the dirt I thought was my husbands. Through storms and torn hearts, laughter and love I will praise an amazing God who continually mineds my development and shows me gold.

Another one bites the dust...

Last year, many marriages around us seemed to fall apart. Of those we saw on the rocks only one couple is still living together, yet they don’t share the same bed and divorce is a word uttered often. Watching them fall apart doesn’t sit well with my soul. It makes me wonder how they got there and confused as to why they didn’t fight for each other. It causes me to doubt marriage and love and relationships and, I’m embarrassed to say it, God.
This past week, I’ve learned that one more marriage is over. Separated for a year, both hearts are broken or hardened to the other. Thoughts of hatred fill their heads instead of a glimpse of reconciliation. They are moving on, seeing other people and ‘happier now than ever before.’ I learned of this broken marriage and cried. Oh Lord, how can this be??

I know that it can be tough at times. We have an enemy who wants us to fail. In the heat of the moment, Satan loves to bring awful thoughts to the surface. He laughs as tempers flare, harsh words are said, tears shed and doors slammed. He rejoices as one more divorce attorney is called, knowing that his hold on this couple is good and tight. I look at these couples, once happy and in love, friends who’ve now become strangers and I cringe to think that one more number to add to the ever increasing divorce rate.

Then, I have days like today! Days when God leads me through His word, arming me with a weapon the devil has no power over. Sweet memories of our wedding day fill my heart. I twirl my wedding ring and thoughts of the man I’m crazy about drown out Satan’s temptations. The Lord leads me to write down verses on index cards, read words of those who have weathered the storm, and gives me prayers for my husband, for myself, and for our marriage. He reminds me to remain in Him (John 15:4), seek first His kingdom and righteousness (Matthew 6:33) take captive every thought (2 Corinthians 10:5) and think on things that are pure, lovely, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).

When I open God’s word I am reminded that we do have an enemy who has come to kill, steal, and destroy, but I am also aware the Lord has give me authority over all the power of the enemy (Luke 10:19) and, with that authority, I’m going to fight against anything that tries to destroy what God has put together.

I will forever carry The Power of a Praying Wife with me. My copy is ‘loved’ with a binding that is shot but it talks about the number one weapon we have against the one who has come to kill, steal, and destroy. In the first chapter at the bottom of one of the first pages, Stormie Omartian urges us to say “I will not allow anything destroy my marriage.” Today, as I think about that marriage broken, I will say that out loud for all to hear.

*Please excuse my play on words with the title.*

This old house

We live in a fabulous home! It's been such a blessing in our young married lives to have the opportunity to live in my husband's grandpa's unoccupied home. This house is one of the neatest places I've lived in since I left home. I just love it! It has lots of character and history; such a wonderful story to tell those who will take the time to stop and listen. There are pictures of generations before us hanging on the walls & adorning the mantle. The antique furniture has hosted many a family gathering and the wood trim has heard much laughter and supported a few tears.

Lately though, all of the love that I have for these vintage walls hasn't been able to keep joy/contentment in this Exton household, especially not in this female mind. When I have bad days, I so want to chalk it up to living in a borrowed home, stating that my soul is stuck in 'unrest' because I want to be free to nest, I long for beautifully decorated bedrooms and a kitchen with countertops (and a dishwasher), I can almost see then day when we slip off our robes and climb into the giant cozy king bed... Oh, I'm getting carried away in my dreams again!

A conversation about bringing home a new baby or hearing about new curtains another girlfriend bought always comes right before "the look..." You might not know the one I'm talking about, but it's always followed with a "you've got to get out of that house!" My sin snickers as my thoughts agree. "Why AM I still in this ancient house?" I wallow in it for a little bit and I may even stir up a fight because my needs are not being met and why should I have to suffer this way.

Then something happens. I see the picture of my grandparents dancing together next to the sewing of unfinished projects. The Magic Chef oven assists in yet another baking project and thoughts of Grandma Koch run through my mind. As I'm walking down the stairs with a load of laundry, the basket hits the drapes, knocks off a piece of the plastic curtain rod and we belly laugh as George plays with it.

I realize that 'paint the walls red' girl is still there, waiting to be let lose on her own house, but I do not want to lose site of the the lessons learned since we've been here. I treasure the conversations I have with God while doing the dishes (and staring at the catholic church next to us). I want to always remember the dinners we've had, both bad (made by me) and FAB-U-LOUS (made be 'the chef'), and the laughs we've shared in our little breakfast nook. The walks we take in the evenings. The neighbors we've met. The St. Catherine's festivals we've survived. The feeling of being "just the three of us in this old house."

So, when I next see "the look" I pray that I can remember I'm right where God wants me, living out His will for my life, and nothing could be better.