A Problem...

I have a problem. I mean it, a big problem.

Let me say that I’ve been trying very hard not to complain lately. I don’t want to be “that girl” because let’s face it, no one likes her and it's not fit for a lady to do. Unfortunately for this ‘grass is greener, can get lost in the moment, sometimes envious’ soul, it can be difficult at times. Some days it gets the best of me and I find myself traveling down that rabbit hole.

Today has been one of those days. So, right here; right now I am going to complain.

As I pass the time in the “famine of summer 2011,” waiting for a new project to start up or come back to life, I have come across quite a few amazing blogs. There have been so many fabulous projects I want to try and baking, oh the baking… they would make my soul smile and our house so cute, but no… I’m stuck in a 10+ year old black mesh chair, staring at drab speckled gray and blue cube walls listening to KLove on my earbuds daydreaming about those projects and our magic chef oven because I work a 9-5 ridiculously boring job that I totally dislike.

Yes, in the oh-so glamorous world of market research this girl is wasting time day dreaming about NOT being here and today I’m complaining about it.

I’m pinning like crazy and writing to do lists for tonight, tomorrow, this weekend… This may have been stirred up because last night, my normally focused and controlled husband turns to me to say “maybe we should buy a house after the next loan is paid off instead of waiting another year.” W-H-A-T! Before he gets his second sentence across his lips, I’ve already packed up our boxes, picked out new bedroom linens (and a cute lamp for the nightstand), painted the sunroom a fabulous shade of yellow to match the wicker furniture I found at a rummage sale, and…

With all of the fun decorating going on in my head, you might ask why does this make me dislike my job a bit more today? Well, when we talked about our goals just after we were married the list included (in order) live in grandpa’s house to pay off credit cards, pray off cars loans, pay off student loans, buy a house, try for a family and QUIT my F/T job! We have been stuck on “pay off student loans” for quite some time that his mention of seriously looking at houses has my head spinning. All I can think about right now is quitting my job!!

Ugh! This doesn’t bode well for the rest of the week’s productivity. I need to take a cue from the dog...

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

Mined for gold

"Men are developed the same way gold is mined. When mining for gold several tons of dirt must be moved to get one ounce. But one doesn't go into the mine looking for dirt - one goes in looking for GOLD. And, the more he looks for, the more he finds." -Andrew Carnegie

I remember the day I first read this quote; however I don't remember exactly where I saw it. It was one of those “Oh, he (aka – the hubs) so needs to hear this. It explains EVERYTHING!” I wrote it out and posted it on my cube wall for those days I needed to be reminded that living with my man is-a-process.

Little did I know what God would do to me as I was attempting to mined my husband.

As I’ve told you all before, I read The Power of a Praying Wife almost every day. At first, it was tough to swallow my pride and pray for a man who had just made my blood boil. It was difficult to pray without adding “change him Father” thoughts at the end. I shrugged off my need to be cleaned because I was singing and praising God at church, I was in a woman’s bible study, I was reading and applying every marriage book known to woman, I was the positive, loving one, I was… (you get the picture). Sure, I’ll listen to Stormie Omartian and I’d pray for my husband just so God could do wonders in his life. Then, he’d see just how great he had it!

As I prayed for my husband, read more marriage books and found more Christian blogs, I noticed that God’s word became wall paper in my cube and in my heart. The pictures of family and friends became less important as I would look to God’s word for smiles, comfort, love, and safety.

As I prayed for my man’s mind, fears, and attitude to be changed by God my mind, fears, and attitude seemed to change. As I dug further into the dirt, I found little specs of gold in me I never knew existed. God began show me more beauty in my life, stronger faith that would move mountains, grace, forgiveness, righteousness and strength, and most importantly LOVE in a damaged heart.

What started out as an “I’ll show him how great of a prayer warrior I can be” attitude with a little, okay big chip on my shoulder, turned into an amazing love for and friendship with a man I now admire and look to for leadership.

I am so thankful God decided to show the gold in my life as I vengefully dug through the dirt I thought was my husbands. Through storms and torn hearts, laughter and love I will praise an amazing God who continually mineds my development and shows me gold.

Check Her Out

Katie at Dashing Dish is hosting a great give-a-way. She's been such an inspiration to me and really helped me look at food differently. From lemon drop cupcakes to her fabulous shake ideas, the recipes are fab-u-lous!

Thanks Katie for following God's will and sharing your knowledge with us. And THANKS so much for the give-a-way!

Challenging

I've been reading my old posts and realized that I haven't done a 30 Days post in quite some time. Some of you may be thinking that I gave up on exercising and enhancing my walk with God, but that is SO NOT TRUE! I am proud to say that I have worked out almost every work day since Easter (go me!) and I've been soaking up His word like a sponge.

When I started Reshaping It All and picked up the 30 day shred, I found a gal at work who was starting it at about the same time. We instantly clicked! Amanda and I are both tall, were active in high school basketball, and enjoy a good workout. Lots in common; something I've been missing since my old cube mate Emily left last April. Anyways, we became workout buddies, challenging each other every work day and have been moving through the videos together. A few weeks ago we decided it was time for more of a challenge so we bought Jillian's Ripped in 30 and 6-week six pack. Today was day two of Ripped... OH BOY! A challenge we did find...

Also during my 30 day challenge / RIA, as I was dreaming of what God would do with my life I started to get restless at my job again. So, I prayed for God to reveal His plan. If I was to find a new job, I asked that He hit me with it hard. Or, if I am to stay here and suck it up, give me peace and send a FREIGHT TRAIN because I'm a bit stubborn and block headed. I found a few potential full time jobs; one I thought was my ticket out of dodge and *bonus* one of my close friends worked there. It ended up not being for me but through my search and after two short, but super sweet interviews (topped off with a hug from the owner), I did find a part time job at Lily's, this cute shop at one of our outside malls.

*side note: have I ever mentioned that one of my love languages is Physical Touch? Did God put this P/T right in my path or what?!*

I also recently picked up Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl. If you have ever struggled in your marriage and seek something more for your life partner, this is a great book! One of my all time favorite ladies recommended it to me on the night we got engaged. I borrowed it from the library and got through chapter 5 or 6, I think, before it was overdue and needed to go back. It was corny and 'not for me.' Two years later I am blessed to have that book in my hands and a friend to talk thru it with. Pouring over scripture and making lists, I'm discovering how God can make our marriage glorious! *Lori over at Always Learning is another great resource on this as well*

Okay, enough updates for now. Time to pack up, head home and make dinner. Oh... and I'm getting much better at wanting to cook as well (one of my "Matt" goals). Pray for tonight's dish; Monday's was sort of blah!